It has been a long time now. This last year has been amazing in it's entirty yet trying in it's moments to moments. My life and family has been topsy-turvied. What we ask for in our secret heart of hearts is gifted in a unexpected way. And so, this last year is exemplary in expectation.
It is funny when we imagine how our requests will turn out. We seem like a little girl in the fairy tales imagining life in perfect sequence. When, in reality, our supplications are headed and God starts to move on our behalf, our expectations lack. How amazing it is with a deficient imagination. The exemplary moments of our chaos breed intricut opportunity to showcase God's creativity.
My biography is being exposed. Perfectly compiled by the master author from time and space foreseen. Topsy-turvy may very well be a correction to stand life upright. Life's biography, not by authorizion, is my phenomena ghost written from outside space and time.
My topsy-turvy life's biography has become a multimedia autobiography. Topsy-turvy to brokenness. My biography has been laid bare. Aches for what used to be, happy for what we asked for, frustration when reality set in. A year of topsy-turvy, one after another, equals brokenness.
An exerpt from my journal dated July 19, 2016:
In a way, it was a pitty party. I could not do what I was accustomed too and I miss that. But ultimately, I felt separated from my God. Like a piece of plexiglass between us. I could see and reach out for Him only not feel Him. I couldn't break through. And it broke me!
Many popular quotes can be applied to my biography daily, like a bipolar rollercoaster! "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are gunna get.". My favorite, "Just for me"! I do not know or plan to figure out what today brings. Topsy-turvy may not be such a bad thing. I can only look to hills from where my help comes from, the maker of heaven and earth.